Generations - May 2020
In this issue...
Supporting the Mental Health of Both Parents and Students During a Pandemic
Jerry Buckley P ’23 (Illustration)
Kathy Guerin P ’21 (Animation)
Supporting the Mental Health of Both Parents and Students During a Pandemic
The COVID-19 pandemic has caused a lot of abrupt uncertainty and change in a very short period of time. These disruptions have a significant impact on mental health, both for parents and their college students. In the midst of lockdowns and social distancing with our campus and classes going online, parents may be wondering: what can I do to be best support my child? And, equally important, what can I do to support my own mental health as a parent in stressful times? Many students may find it extremely difficult to move back home after leaving the nest and tasting freedom and independence in their college lives. This is a period of readjustment for both students and their parents/families and it is one that requires patience and mutual respect.
Here are some points for students and families to consider:
Parents are having more conflict with their college-aged students after the pandemic:
With concerns about work and finances, isolation and cabin fever, loneliness and other worries, stress can take a toll on parents who may feel burned out. Stress can descend into conflict if not turning inward with depression or sadness. To make things better, consider some of these options:
- Make mistakes. Be patient and empathic with one another and accept that both students and parents will make mistakes during this time of transition.
- Set boundaries with time and space. Students will need spaces at home to be alone, to concentrate on their online classes and engage in homework.
- Respect Privacy. Students should set boundaries with parents about what they are willing and not willing to discuss or do. If topics are raised that are triggering or make them uncomfortable, parents should encourage their children to talk about how they feel, but not force them and should give them space.
Take care of your mental health:
- Reduce isolation. Social distancing and confinement at home does not mean that you and your family should be your only social interactions. Take a walk. Get fresh air. Stay connected to friends through text, video chat, phone or virtual hangouts. Reach out to loved ones for support and encouragement. Talking with others can alleviate stress.
- Process your feelings about Coronavirus anxiety: Give yourself and your family permission to feel your feelings, to express them, and to acknowledge hurt and difficulty. You are allowed to feel sad. Talk about it and journal.
- Information overload: Take breaks from the news and silence news updates all day.
- Body and Mind: Remember that being physically sedentary can hinder mental health. Take walks. Do exercise or yoga and find any way to release endorphins like running, biking, or at-home workouts.
- Build a Routine: Develop a routine while you are stuck for longer periods at home. Stick to day-to-day habits that make you feel purposefully engaged and productive.
UArts Counseling Center is Here for You
Both students and parents may benefit by having access to mental health services during this difficult time. We encourage parents to remind their students to contact the UArts Counseling Center for support. Know that despite social distancing, our therapists are conducting counseling sessions through phone and video chat appointments and online therapy. We can be reached at counseling@uarts.edu with questions/concerns and to schedule a new appointment. Hang in there. We will get through this together and remember that UArts is here for our students and their families.
Warmly,
Abe Zubarev
Director of Counseling & Psychiatry
counseling@uarts.edu
Jerry Buckley P ’23 (Illustration)
With our students back home for Spring Break, we all took an incredible journey from a 100% interactive and experiential learning space for our students, to an experience that was 100% remote and virtual in its interaction.
I do believe there are many upsides to the way the semester took shape, and I wanted to share a bit of our family’s experience. Our student, Julia, is just finishing her first year in the School Of Design.
As a parent, I must admit with some guilt that I am grateful to have my daughter back in our home for an unexpected, extended stay. Instead of phone calls to her dorm, we are taking time to take daily walks together, talk about our days, discuss her art and projects, help each other manage stress, and just chill together. It’s been the best side of this crisis for me as a parent, and a much appreciated gift.
UArts’ instructors have been incredible, stepping up to fully engage students in a new virtual dynamic. As a parent, I was formally removed from directly observing this interaction, only hearing about it secondhand through Julia’s conversations with us. But now, I get a daily idea of how committed University staff is, as I work in an adjoining room, careful not to walk in if I am still in my PJs (c’mon, aren’t we all excused to stay in PJs until at least noon during quarantine?). Again with some guilt, as a nosey parent I have more access to my student’s experience with her at home, and the ability to see her process as it evolves through the semester has been a definite treat.
Maybe it’s the age of the current UArts class, having continually adapted to the lightning-fast evolution of—well, everything as they have grown up—but from what we see, students have been incredibly resilient. Concerns are present but complaints are few, and they got down to getting the work done this past semester.
Our students are getting real-world experience in adapting to the circumstances life is presenting them. Isn’t that exactly what our students will need to do once they graduate from UArts: adapt, pivot, get entrepreneurial, take chances and make their own world? The skills in grit, resilience and stick-to-it-ness they are learning now will pay off in dividends as they move ahead in life. They are networking with their professors and fellow students in new ways, learning new communication skills, stepping up, and leading. Some days they need to dig deep to find inspiration and motivation in the face of challenges—just like every creative contributor must do throughout their career.
At UArts, we are all part of a historical moment—TOGETHER. As a community, we face challenges to solve, but as a family, this first-ever UArts experience also has positive aspects to it.
Kathy Guerin P ’21 (Animation)
March 11 is the day the words “pandemic” and “coronavirus” got woven into the fabric of our lives and our “new normal” life began at home with our UArts student, Shannon.
Shannon, is a junior, an Animation major and our only child. She is a commuter student, so living at home with her parents was not an issue. Losing physical contact with her friends and classmates was. That first day she had a meltdown, having had the rug pulled out from under her. She had just landed a summer internship, paid for a trip to Ireland and scheduled several cosplay conventions with friends. All of that would be cancelled or put on hold. Her classes would be conducted online, and she was feeling depressed. She was worried about her emotional health if this went on for months, or even years. So was I. We sat down as a family to discuss our feelings and how we might manage our anxiety.
We all found our work spots in the house, and Shannon’s was in our family room, connected to the kitchen. I could hear the conversations of her online classes as I popped into the kitchen to make coffee or lunch. I could hear the soothing voice of one of her professors checking in on his student’s feelings before proceeding to the class material. Slowly, over a few days, a smile returned to Shannon’s face as she participated online. After class we would sometimes discuss what was going on.
On April 7, Shannon’s grandmother died suddenly while living in an assisted living retirement community. She had a close relationship with her grandmother, who had attended UArts when it was Philadelphia College of Art. Shannon had not seen her grandmother due to quarantine for a month before her passing. There was a rushed funeral, no memorial service and only 10 people allowed graveside, with masks, standing six feet apart.
But there are blessings in our new normal. Shannon’s dad is playing chess with her several times a week; I am helping her sew a new cosplay outfit. She continues her piano lessons, and we enjoy hearing her play. She is cleaning the house, riding her bike and getting more sleep. We are learning to be resilient.